I don’t want a happy life. That would be boring.
One of my dearest friends called me out after a relationship once again didn’t turn out the way I hoped.
As I explained my heartbreak she said, “Yea, but, Bridget-is that really the love story you want? You meet him, he’s perfect, and you live happily ever after? Is that really the life you want?”
Anyone who knows me really well is probably smiling or laughing at this. Because-it’s true.
I’ve always chosen the harder path, whether on purpose or by accident. As much I think I want a simple, quiet life spent with that Disney version of your one true love, there’s a deep part of my soul that craves more. So much more.
I want obstacles. I want adventure. I want twists & turns, unpredicted stops, hard rights, and awkward bends like no life has ever been lived before!
Yes, finding a partner to dance with me through life would be a plus. But it is not the end goal. Nor is it a necessity. Besides, “Happily ever after” is boring.
As much as I may complain about “hard times”, I actually really love them. In fact I tend to dive head first into the darkness because a part of me knows of the wisdom in its depth. At one point a few years back when I was running towards a storm of a relationship, one of my healers told me I needed to find healthier ways to learn lessons. He was probably right. But I still ran into that hurricane, survived, and learned some great truths along the way.
I don’t think stories should be worn as a badge of honor. I definitely don’t think one should go looking for trouble. I’ve just always had an affinity for my struggles. They do not define me, but they shape my character and... well... they keep life interesting. I recognize that there is a lot out of our control. That there is a higher power that helps assist us in our lessons and learning along the way. But I also believe that while we are so much more than our story... it is still ours to write.
I don’t know about you, but I plan on writing an epic tale of ups & downs, failure & redemption, romance & heartbreak, pain & joy, self-discovery & service, love & betrayal, loneliness & belonging. I want the pages of my life filled with deep conversations, hard situations, amazing friends, good books, sunrises & sunsets, hellos & goodbye pocketed with chapters of gratitude, growth, and grace. I want pancakes! Chocolate, coffee, and all the best foods even if they aren’t “good” for me. I want tear soaked pillow cases, a heart worn from loving too much, and laughs upon laughs upon laughs. I want nights dancing till dawn and early morning yoga practices that feel like home. I want hours of contemplation, days of silence, & years of travel. I want to squeeze this life of all it’s sweet honey and sit in every bitter uncomfortable moment it has to offer.
I don’t want a happy life. That would be boring. I want LIFE. In all it’s messy glory.