Cold Sunrise

On the longest night of the year, I welcomed the dark, the transition, the discomfort, and the ache in my holy heart. I bowed to the sweet moon and her wise ways and tucked myself in bed, heavy with exhaustion and overthinking, hoping for a good night’s sleep. I awoke too early- with instant tears. The fear of the unknown swirling with the energy of transformation, and the growth of this last year alchemizing in my soul...I couldn’t help but let all the tears fall. I sat in the cold hours before light, cradled by something bigger than my man-made self. A deep longing began to pull me out of my tangled mind urging me to go find the Sun. So, I did. I bundled myself in warmth and ventured to the riverfront where I wandered until the Sun smiled at me. Slowly at first, and then expansive, stretching beauty across the sky. The grace of light shining upon me as the edge of winter’s chill cut through my skin.
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Nothing exists on its own. Not the dark, not the light. Sorrow and joy play while love and hate dance, and death and rebirth commune regularly. Balance is the most exquisite thing.
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One of teachers says, “you can enter winter willingly”. It might seem like a simple statement, but for me, when I heard it, something clicked. A deeper understanding of a greater pattern in the universe that I hadn’t seen before. A quilt of absolute perfection. Nothing knows symmetry like the sky, the sun, the moon, the trees, and the seasons.
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I don’t believe in eternal darkness. I don’t believe in eternal light. I believe in eternal balance. Harmonic energies infinitely shifting this way and that bringing disorder, order, and reorder over and over and over again.
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I am so thankful for the grace that brought me to the sunrise today. For the reminder that these dark winter times are never without light. For the truth that this existence is ultimate perfection. And that I am always held in deep love by a power far greater than my own. Om shanti, shanti, shanti.